How to Move on After Divorce
Even an amicable or mediated divorce that was cost-effective and timely can be a painful, life-altering experience. Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce can be difficult, no matter what the outcome. If you are wondering how to cope with divorce, we have some suggestions that may help.
Gather Your Circle
Whether you know it or not, you have a support circle of friends and family. Don’t underestimate the value of your loved ones; they can help to bolster you as you find your footing again. If things are feeling difficult or you are feeling vulnerable, reach out to the people you know and love and allow them to help. This can be crucial in overcoming sadness from divorce.
Focus on the Future
True, your marriage ended, but that is also already in your past — you have a whole future to look forward to. It sounds like a cliché to say that every ending is also a beginning, but it’s true when learning how to cope with divorce. While some people will want or need to wholly reinvent themselves after a divorce, you could do something as simple as taking an art class or spending more time with a friend. You now have the opportunity to focus on who you are and what you want from life, independent of your former partner.
Improve Your Health
Marriage, even good marriages, can make us complacent about our health and fitness goals. Now is the time to concentrate on creating a better you. Hit the gym, take a cooking class, or join a healthy group in your area. You’ll feel better and can make new friends along the way.
Find a Support Group
If you are wondering how to overcome divorce grief, sometimes knowing that you are not alone can make all the difference. It’s estimated that 40-50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. That means a lot of people out there have a shared experience and can relate to your post-divorce concerns. Join a group to explore your feelings and get advice from others who have gone through it and come out on the other side. Sometimes, when overcoming sadness from divorce, the thing a person needs to hear most is, “I’ve felt that, too.”
Concentrate on Your Kids
If you have children, be supportive of them. After all, they’re going through a divorce, too. Work on creating positive memories, finding them loving caregivers (if needed), and settling into their new lives. When you are with your kids, try to remain positive and avoid talking badly about your former spouse . It’s important that you provide a safe space for your children to process the divorce and explore their emotions.
Overcome Divorce Guilt
Overcoming divorce guilt can be difficult for many. You may feel as though you didn’t fulfill your promise to love and cherish your spouse forever. You may also feel guilty for the emotional toll divorce takes on the entire family. There are ways of overcoming divorce guilt, which start by forgiving yourself. One way to do so is to realize that people and situations change over time, and that some relationships simply reach an ending point. Feeling guilty won’t change what happened in the past, and it can prevent you from moving forward. It is also important not to carry guilt from others or to overcompensate with your children or spouse. Carrying the guilt of others and overcompensating will only make things worse for you and those around you.
Divorce Representation That Focuses on You
At Conniff & Keleher, our focus is on you. We treat each case with care and compassion and understand the impact divorce has on individuals and families. Our divorce and family law attorneys are well-equipped to help you achieve the goals you seek from your divorce so you can get on with your life on your terms. Contact us today to schedule a legal consultation and learn more about the services we offer.
